After a bitter squabble, many couples would choose separation as a means to keep some form of distance between them.
Separation is not really the same as divorce, since the couples just need some time to get over what ill feelings they harbor toward each other, resulting from circumstances such as physical, emotional and/or psychological abuse, substance abuse, and infidelity.
Sadly, it is true that some of these couples will ultimately choose to stay apart by getting a divorce.
If you and your husband or wife are currently separated, you are probably wondering if there is still a chance for reconciliation between the two of you.
The answer, of course, is a resounding YES!
How to save a marriage after separation
Even studies done by psychologists have found that reconciliation between separated couples can be possible if both are willing to take the necessary steps to get back together again. But what steps are these?
- First of all, evaluate your current emotional state.
Can you honestly tell yourself that you still love your spouse? Are you ready to forgive him or her and give him/her another chance? You also need to take a look at other reasons why you should reconcile.
For one, you should consider the future of your children, although it should be mentioned that most kids would want to see their parents apart if they would continue to fight if they get together again.
While it may seem materialistic, you should think about your financial security. Are you more secure while married or can you live on your own?
These are just a few of the questions that you need to ponder when considering reconciliation.
- Secondly, try establishing communication links with your spouse again.
Talk about your feelings. Be honest, but without being rude or blowing your temper. If you are both decided on reconciling, discuss what needs to be changed between the two of you. Make a commitment to change bad habits and behaviors that have been detrimental to your relationship while still living together.
Obviously, such changes cannot be made immediately. Arrive at reasonable compromises. Commit to be more patient and considerate toward each other’s faults. If there is some awkwardness between you regarding a possible confrontation, you can ask a relative or a friend to mediate between the two of you.
- Thirdly, in some cases, reconciliation may prove difficult if neither spouse is willing to change. Consider getting marriage counseling.
A marriage counselor can help guide and advise you on how to smoothen the rough spots in your marriage. Most importantly, he or she will help you to be able to forgive each other.
Just remember that sincere reconciliation has its many benefits. Couples who have reconciled after separation have discovered a deeper meaning in their relationship. They have also learned how to treat each other fairly and realize that they themselves are responsible for the success or ruin of their marriage.
Learn more about how you can save a marriage through reconciliation today!