If there is one situation that a lot of people believe will lead to immediate dissolution of marriage, it would be a case of domestic violence.
Surprisingly, however, there are some couples who have miraculously survived such a destructive situation. The abuser has even gone on to become better members of society, thanks to the unwavering support of their spouse.
How could something so dire change into something very positive?
What is Domestic Violence?
When you hear the words “domestic violence”, what instantly would come to mind are images of a wife being beaten by her husband. There are, however, other forms of abuse, such as insults and name calling, controlling behaviors, and psychological abuse.
What are the profiles of a typical abuser? Studies have shown that abusers commonly suffer from low self-esteem. Their abusive behavior usually surfaces during rough, depressing times in their lives, such as when they are frustrated about their lives or they are not happy or have just been fired from their current place of work.
Because they could not cope with the anger and frustration, they lash out at their spouses. Abusers also have very poor communication skills. Their inability to convey their feelings ultimately leads to anger, rage and physical abuse.
It should be emphasized that men are not the sole perpetrators of domestic abuse and violence. There are some cases of battered husbands, but authorities believe that there are likely to be more of them.
Studies have shown that while men tend to use their fists more, women have a greater likelihood of using deadly weapons. The problem with domestic violence committed against men is that the abused husband is less likely to seek help because of the shame and social stigma.
When a spouse is being beaten or humiliated, most would want to get out of the marriage immediately. But, if you are reading this article, you probably still love your husband or wife and want to do something to save your marriage as well as your life.
The first thing to do if you are in an abusive relationship is to get out of the house. This is only a temporary condition while the situation in your home is still hostile.
While you are apart from your spouse, seek help. Talk to a marriage counselor and get his or her advice on what to do with your spouse.
It is also necessary to visit your doctor to have your injuries checked out and documented. Usually, the abusive spouse will come to pick you up and ask for forgiveness. In the presence of a mediator, strongly request that he or she seek professional help. If he/she refuses, do not go home yet until he/she agrees to your request.
A psychologist or psychiatrist’s expertise is very important for the abuser to learn how to deal with his anger and other psychological issues. More often than not, you – the spouse – will be asked to join in a few sessions so that you will know how to handle any emotional crisis that may develop.
Most important of all, it will be emphasized to the both of you that abuse or violence of any form should not exist in a happy marriage and you will be advised on the steps you need to take to curb or totally prevent any future violent outbursts.
Learn more about how to save a marriage in the aftermath of domestic violence today!