Ask any husband or wife if there is anything that they dread to happen in their marriage the most it is discovering that their spouse is having an affair.
Indeed, nothing can be more painful than to find out that the man or woman whom you chose to spend a whole lifetime with has been sleeping with someone else.
Not only is it a betrayal of trust, it is a betrayal of the sacred vows that they have made at the altar.
If your marriage is presently under considerable strain following the discovery of an extramarital affair, but you and your spouse would still want to salvage it, there are certain tips that you should observe. Here is a way to save your marriage that was destroyed by an affair.
How to save marriage ruin by an affair?
First of all, it is very important that the guilty spouse should take responsibility for his or her actions. It is not enough that you apologize.
Your apology should be sincere and coupled with the promise that you will terminate the affair (if you haven’t done so yet).
If necessary move to a new job or even to a new place, just to get away from your lover.
If your lover persists in pursuing you, you might want to get a restraining order from the court.
Take note, however, that even the spouse who has been cheated upon should evaluate his or her role in the development of the affair. See if you have been remiss in your “duties” toward your husband or wife.
For example, you have not been showing him/her your love and affection. Maybe you have become too immersed in your career to notice his or her sexual needs. Another good reason is if you are constantly nagging your spouse to death. These factors and more could have served as the catalyst for the affair.
Secondly, it is very important that you and your spouse discuss the affair as honestly and as openly as possible. You will never know the reason why the affair happened if you don’t talk about it.
Listen to each other’s reasons and concerns, and discuss possible solutions to prevent similar incidents from happening again.
If the pain of the betrayal is too much and you feel that you can’t talk to your cheating spouse without blowing your temper, you might want to consider getting help from a mediator.
Solicit the aid of a level-headed relative, friend, or priest or pastor to keep the tempers from flying.
Thirdly, the two of you should give yourself time to heal. Nothing can be more devastating than finding out that your spouse has been unfaithful to you.
The cheating husband or wife should also understand the repercussions of their actions. If you feel that you cannot live together under one roof, then by all means, take a break from each other. Stay with a trusted friend or with a family member. Use the quiet time to figure out ways by which you can save your marriage.
Finally, while you are healing, you and your spouse should also reminisce about the past. Remember all those wonderful moments during your courtship period that have prompted you to marry each other. Perhaps, if you are able to rekindle the romance and passion, you might be able to save your marriage.