For most couples, the discovery that their husband or wife has cheated on them is tantamount to a death sentence on their marriage. It is nothing more than a betrayal of the love they have sworn before the altar to hold sacred to the end of their days.
Aside from this, having a cheating spouse is a terrible blow to one’s self-esteem. There are many wives who end up feeling very depressed because they blamed themselves for driving their husbands into the arms of another woman.
How to save a marriage after cheating
First, you should realize the mistakes you have made. This does not just refer to the cheating spouse. All acts of adultery have roots in behaviors and attitudes in the other spouse.
For example, many husbands and wives have cheated on their spouses because they could not endure their constant criticisms and nagging. While it remains true that the cheating spouse is at greater fault, you should also acknowledge your role in driving your husband or wife to cheat on you to begin with.
The next step is to sincerely apologize. Don’t expect to be forgiven immediately. It will take time for your spouse to get over the painful betrayal.
A difficult and very painful step that the two of you need to do is to talk about the cheating. Your spouse deserves to know why you cheated on them. Don’t be offensive if you feel that your husband or wife has shortcomings which have prompted you to cheat.
Let’s face it! No matter what faults your spouse has, it certainly is no excuse to make an even greater mistake of having an extramarital affair. If necessary, get a mediator to help you get through this stage. What is most important is that you get all of these negative feelings out.
It is not enough that you apologize. It is vital that you make amends by making good on your promises to change. This would include cutting all ties with the other man or woman. Although it will be very difficult, try to change your attitudes and behaviors.
Change should also take place in the spouse who has been cheated upon. He or she should also commit to getting rid of bad habits and behaviors which may prompt their spouse to cheat on them again. If necessary, go for marriage counseling.
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