For many men and women, it is a painful and unpardonable sin if their spouse has had an affair. For them, marriage is a sacred bond, so committing infidelity and adultery is already tantamount to breaking this bond.
Even if the aggrieved party is not inclined to think of the marriage bond as a sacred bond, there is definitely the loss of trust and love in the spouse who has cheated.
Saving marriage after infidelity can be a very painful and difficult process. Much of the effort for rebuilding the foundations of the marriage lies in the cheating spouse.
It is necessary that he or she makes a conscious and very visible effort to prove to his or her spouse that he/she is worthy of trusting once more.
In some cases, the saving of the marriage would require effort from both parties, especially if the cheating spouse perceives his or her partner to be the reason why they cheated in the first place. This is especially true if the spouse is a nagger or constantly belittles the worth of his/her partner.
As painful as the process of saving marriage after infidelity may be, there are ways by which this goal can be achieved…
- The cheating spouse should completely break all times with the person he/she had an affair with. Many cheating spouses believe they can continue maintain friendship with this person, but this only causes more incidents of infidelity to occur. If he or she truly loves his/her spouse, he should do everything in his/her power to make everything right again.
- The cheating spouse should prove that he/she can be trusted. Such indiscretions cannot be forgiven overnight. It is also not advisable to sweep your aggrieved party into another whirlwind romance in the hope that he/she will fall madly in love with you all over again. Give him/her time to get over the pain that you have inflicted and work on regaining her trust.
- Have you and your spouse tested for sexually transmitted diseases, including AIDS. If you truly care for your spouse, make the effort to have the both of you tested and treated.
- Go for marriage counseling. You can either go to a pastor or a psychiatrist. The counselor will serve as mediator so that you can calmly discuss the infidelity. The aggrieved party can voice out his/her pain on why his/her spouse has cheated on him/her. On the other hand, the cheating spouse can also point out his/her reasons for committing adultery, especially if the aggrieved party also has lapses of his/her own. Once all the issues have been brought open, the counselor can suggest options by which the couple can save their marriage.
An act of infidelity does not necessarily mean the end of a marriage. If the husband and wife are still truly in love with each other, they should make the extra effort so that such a painful incident will not happen again.
They should also take the necessary measures to solidify their bonds to each other. It is only by taking these steps that saving marriage can be achieved.