During these very difficult economic times, more and more people are looking for very easy ways to make money. Unfortunately, it is when cash is hard to earn that casinos, Bingo parlors and lotteries are coming up with big prizes to entice people cough up their last bills and gamble.

As the prizes get bigger and bigger, the more a person buys tickets and wagers larger. Before he or she even realizes it, he/she is already addicted to gambling.

A gambling addiction in one or both spouses can also wreak its toll upon a marriage. Much like addicts, gamblers need money to get their “fix”. The husband or wife soon notices this as a marked decrease in the paycheck or unexplained deductions from the family budget or withdrawals from the bank account.

This exorbitant spending can lead to frequent squabbles, so that gambling spouse becomes very secretive of his/her activities. For example, an acquaintance’s husband is hooked on Bingo. During one argument, her husband told her that some of the money he gave her came from his winnings.

There was even another time when he gave both his wife and daughter $500 each from his Bingo winnings. You can only just imagine the horror of the wife when she learned from a neighbor that her husband had actually lost $10,000 in Bingo alone and settled only for a $1,000 consolation prize.

Gambling addiction needs to be curbed before it puts considerable strain on a marriage. If your husband or wife is gambler, learn about this type of addiction. There are many great resources on the Internet that will help educate you on gambling as a form of addiction.

Part and parcel of dealing with a gambler is the knowledge of how to manage the finances properly. If your spouse is gambling, you will need to discover the “tricks” on how to keep your budget intact and continue getting the same amount of money monthly from your husband or wife’s paycheck. Ask about possible legal issues.

It may be possible that your spouse has incurred a huge debt in order to sustain his or her gambling habits. Inquire with your lawyer on how to deal with these legalities.

Although it may be difficult to do so, you need to convince your gambling spouse to seek counseling. There are support groups like Gamblers Anonymous. Or you can inquire about addiction support groups in your church. You might want to consider attending a few sessions alone, to get an idea on what to expect.

If you are convinced that a group can help your spouse, ask from the group members how you can go about convincing your gambling husband or wife to attend sessions. Many members will tell you that the first step is to get your spouse to admit that he or she has a gambling problem. If you cannot do this alone, invite a support group member, psychologist or counselor to your home who will have a better chance of convincing your spouse about the necessity to seek professional help.

Learn more ways on how to save a marriage troubled by gambling addiction today!

If there is one situation that a lot of people believe will lead to immediate dissolution of marriage, it would be a case of domestic violence. Surprisingly, however, there are some couples who have miraculously survived such a destructive situation. The abuser has even gone on to become better members of society, thanks to the unwavering support of their spouse. How could something so dire change into something very positive?

When you hear the words “domestic violence”, what instantly would come to mind are images of a wife being beaten by her husband. There are, however, other forms of abuse, such as insults and name calling, controlling behaviors, and psychological abuse.

What are the profiles of a typical abuser? Studies have shown that abusers commonly suffer from low self-esteem. Their abusive behavior usually surfaces during rough, depressing times in their lives, such as when they are frustrated about their lives or they are not happy or have just been fired from their current place of work. Because they could not cope with the anger and frustration, they lash out at their spouses. Abusers also have very poor communication skills. Their inability to convey their feelings ultimately leads to anger, rage and physical abuse.

It should be emphasized that men are not the sole perpetrators of domestic abuse and violence. There are some cases of battered husbands, but authorities believe that there are likely to be more of them. Studies have shown that while men tend to use their fists more, women have a greater likelihood of using deadly weapons. The problem with domestic violence committed against men is that the abused husband is less likely to seek help because of the shame and social stigma.

When a spouse is being beaten or humiliated, most would want to get out of the marriage immediately. But, if you are reading this article, you probably still love your husband or wife and want to do something to save your marriage as well as your life.

The first thing to do if you are in an abusive relationship is to get out of the house. This is only a temporary condition while the situation in your home is still hostile. While you are apart from your spouse, seek help. Talk to a marriage counselor and get his or her advice on what to do with your spouse. It is also necessary to visit your doctor to have your injuries checked out and documented. Usually, the abusive spouse will come to pick you up and ask for forgiveness. In the presence of a mediator, strongly request that he or she seek professional help. If he/she refuses, do not go home yet until he/she agrees to your request.

A psychologist or psychiatrist’s expertise is very important for the abuser to learn how to deal with his anger and other psychological issues. More often than not, you – the spouse – will be asked to join in a few sessions so that you will know how to handle any emotional crisis that may develop. Most important of all, it will be emphasized to the both of you that abuse or violence of any form should not exist in a happy marriage and you will be advised on the steps you need to take to curb or totally prevent any future violent outbursts.

Learn more about how to save a marriage in the aftermath of domestic violence today!

There are certain circumstances that can prove very damaging to a marriage. One of them is having a spouse who is addicted to drugs.

Drug abuse can lead to all sorts of damage in a marital relationship. First of all, on a financial standpoint, a spouse who is abusing drugs becomes too dependent so that he or she starts to steal money from the family budget in order to get his/her regular “fix”.

Some get too sick so that they need to be brought to a hospital or rehab center. There is also the mental trauma on the part of the other spouse and their children.

While it is already distressing enough to see their loved one being wracked by the insidious effects of heroine, marijuana, ecstasy or other drugs that they are taking, they also have to cope with the anger and frustration – and sometimes physical abuse – if the abusing spouse doesn’t get what he or she wants.

As tumultuous as living with a husband or wife who is an addict could be, there are couples who have been able to survive this crisis and gone on to have a happy and perhaps stronger marital relationship. How can it be done?

Practically every article that you will read on saving marriage will mention that communication is the key. The same is also true for saving marriages in the aftermath of drug abuse.

On the part of the addict spouse, he/she should be open to his/her spouse. Tell your husband or wife the truth about your addiction and other problems associated with it (such as if you have amassed debts through illegal means). Be prepared for his/her reaction.

As unpleasant as it may be, you should be willing to accept that you have made a mistake and you want to atone for it.

On the other hand, some spouses of addicts have the wrong notion that they should immediately support their husbands or wives. No. In fact, you have every right to voice out your pain. Let’s face it. You have been lied to and deceived. Feel free to vent. Cry and scream if you have to. You have to get all the bad feelings out before you can move on.

Once everything is out in the open, the two of you should sit down and figure out what to do next. The greater responsibility, naturally, falls on the shoulders of the addict spouse. If he or she is determined to be healed, he/she should seek professional help immediately. There should also be a commitment to stop lying. If an infraction is committed, he/she should admit directly to the spouse.

On the other hand, their husband or wife needs to give them the support they need during their rehabilitation and recovery. It is very important to avoid the trap of monitoring the addict spouse’s actions, as this shows a lack of trust. Let the addict spouse work his/her problems out. If he/she should “stumble”, do not berate him/her for his/her mistake. Instead, help him/her to get back up on his/her feet.

Finally, rebuild trust between you. For the addict spouse, show your sincerity of changing through action – by religiously going to rehab sessions or support groups. On the other hand, the husband or wife of the addict should always be there at the side of their spouse. This encouragement will help the addict to recover faster.

Learn more ways on how to save a marriage after drug abuse today!

You have probably read, heard or seen these horror stories before. A drunk husband, unable to contain his drinking habits, starts beating up his poor wife who has been begging him to quit. Sad to say, many of these stories are true. In fact, just check out the Internet and you will find women in support forums wanting advice on how to save their marriage if their husband refuses to quit.

Alcoholic husbands – and wives – always say that they don’t have a drinking problem. They claim that they can handle the amount of liquor that they take in. But, it is their poor spouses who know otherwise. Living with a drunk day in and day out, they are all too aware that the alcohol has taken over their spouses.

It is the drunken spouse who is being handled by whiskey, tequila or whatever alcoholic poison they prefer. They may say that they will quit the next day, but it’s a promise that is sure to be broken. Let’s face it. They love the high, the mindlessness, the freedom that alcohol gives them. If you want your alcoholic spouse to quit and save your marriage, you have to take the bull by its horns.

The most important advice that you should keep in mind is that you are not alone. If your spouse refuses to quit drinking, seem professional help. Talk about the problem with your family doctor. Maybe he or she can help talk to your spouse about quitting.

Or your doctor may refer you to an alcohol support group or treatment center. They will give you advice on what to do to convince your spouse to quit. The good thing about alcohol support groups and treatment centers is that they have all the resources you need to help you deal with the situation.

If you are a spiritual person, talk to your local priest, rabbi or pastor. Not only will they give you spiritual support, they can also offer prayers on yours and your spouse’s behalf.

A common mistake that many spouses of alcoholics make is that they keep their situation a secret, especially if the alcoholic is particularly abusive. If you are being beaten by your spouse, the more you should not keep it a secret. You definitely need help. Don’t believe that you should take the abuse.

If your spouse’s drinking gets out of hand and is proving to be a danger to himself, his family or someone else, call the police immediately. Some people might say that calling the authorities is not the right way to save your marriage. But, remember that certain situations are beyond your control. If you truly love them, you may need to force them to seek professional treatment.

Of course, it is not only your spouse who will need to be treated. You too will also need to seek therapy through support groups. You need to be taught how to help your spouse, how to deal with his withdrawal symptoms, and how to prevent him from hitting the bottle again. Do not be in a rush to force your spouse to change. It will take time for him to recover from his addiction. Be supportive and patient.

Discover other useful tips on how to save your marriage if your spouse refuses to quit drinking!

Practically every article that you will read in both print media and on the Internet will tell you that the best way to save your marriage is through effective communication. However, you are probably wondering “What is ‘effective’ communication?” to begin with. You might even say that “My husband/wife and I are still on speaking terms.” True, you and your spouse may still be talking to each other. But, are your talks productive so that you are able to solve the problems in your marriage?

Let us take a closer look on just what effective communication is.

 Cool Your Head

Arguably, the foundation to effectively communicate with your spouse to save your marriage is by maintaining a cool, calm demeanor. This simply means that when you talk to your husband or your wife, you DO NOT lose your temper.

When you are irritated or angry with your spouse, your emotions have a tendency to run away with rational thought. If you want to communicate, never do so when your blood is boiling. Give yourself an hour or two to calm down.

You can sit down and meditate for a bit. Or you can take breathing exercises. What is most important is that you have cooled down so that you can discuss things in a calm manner.

 Never Talk In Front of the Children

There are couples who believe that marital problems are a family issue. Therefore, the children need to join them in the discussion. However, absolutely no good will come out with involving your kids in your marital woes. Not only will you expose them to the harsh realities of your marital woes, you may even traumatize them to the point that they would be reluctant to get married as adults. Worse, your kids may even find themselves in a tug-of-war, with you and your spouse demanding your children to take sides. Whatever problems you have are between the two of you alone. Leave your kids out of your talks.

 Discuss Your Problems in a Quiet, Neutral Place

Your environment can aid in making discussions on marital problems smoother. You and your spouse can choose to go to your favorite spot, such as a quiet place in the park or walking along the beach.

It is not advisable to have discussions in crowded places like restaurants, especially if you want to avoid a scene. A place of solitude will give you the peace of soul and mind so that you can be able to talk about your problems objectively.

 Take Turns Airing your Side

Let us say that you and your spouse are at last ready to talk. Being the gentleman, the husband should always let his wife speak first. Listen to everything that your wife has to say, even if it is hurtful.

Try to analyze what she is saying to you, and see if there is any truth to her words. When it is the husband’s turn to speak, the wife should also listen to what he has to say in an analytical manner.

You will probably be surprised to learn that not one spouse should shoulder the blame on a marital problem. In fact, majority of marital woes result from faults from both sides.

 Always Be Respectful

The reason why most attempts at communication fail is because husbands and wives have become so angry and frustrated that they could no longer show any respect to the other. This can be in the form of rude interruptions when one spouse says something that is particularly respectful. In worse cases, some couples ultimately succumb to name calling.

Rather than give in to the heat of your emotions, be honest and tell them “What I have to say to you may hurt, but please understand that I have to get all these things out in the open because I love you and I want to save our marriage.” By keeping such a respectful attitude throughout communication, the more you will be open to finding solutions to your problems.

Seek Solutions and Compromises, and Act on Them

Once you have aired out your grievances, the two of you should ask one particular question – “What do we do next?” Examine the current standing of your relationship.

Offer possible solutions. If the problems result from bad habits and behaviors, make the sincere promise to change. But, since change does not occur immediately, work out reasonable compromises, such as one spouse will remind the other if he or she lapses back into old habits.

What is most important is that any solutions that you intend to make, they should be followed through with sincere action.

Learn more useful tips on effective communication to save a marriage today!

For most couples, the discovery that their husband or wife has cheated on them is tantamount to a death sentence on their marriage. It is nothing more than a betrayal of the love they have sworn before the altar to hold sacred to the end of their days. Aside from this, having a cheating spouse is a terrible blow to one’s self-esteem. There are many wives who end up feeling very depressed because they blamed themselves for driving their husbands into the arms of another woman.

If an act of cheating is slowly driving your relationship to the breaking point, there are some helpful tips that you could use to try and salvage your marriage.

First, you should realize the mistakes you have made. This does not just refer to the cheating spouse. All acts of adultery have roots in behaviors and attitudes in the other spouse. For example, many husbands and wives have cheated on their spouses because they could not endure their constant criticisms and nagging. While it remains true that the cheating spouse is at greater fault, you should also acknowledge your role in driving your husband or wife to cheat on you to begin with.

The next step is to sincerely apologize. Don’t expect to be forgiven immediately. It will take time for your spouse to get over the painful betrayal.

A difficult and very painful step that the two of you need to do is to talk about the cheating. Your spouse deserves to know why you cheated on them. Don’t be offensive if you feel that your husband or wife has shortcomings which have prompted you to cheat. Let’s face it! No matter what faults your spouse has, it certainly is no excuse to make an even greater mistake of having an extramarital affair. If necessary, get a mediator to help you get through this stage. What is most important is that you get all of these negative feelings out.

It is not enough that you apologize. It is vital that you make amends by making good on your promises to change. This would include cutting all ties with the other man or woman. Although it will be very difficult, try to change your attitudes and behaviors. Change should also take place in the spouse who has been cheated upon. He or she should also commit to getting rid of bad habits and behaviors which may prompt their spouse to cheat on them again. If necessary, go for marriage counseling.

Learn more tips on saving your marriage after acts of cheating today!

There will be times in a marriage wherein a couple may find it difficult to reconcile their differences without outside intervention. In fact, a large percentage of broken marriages could have been salvageable if one or both spouses sought help in some form from an objective outside party.

If your marriage is in dire straits and you want to save it, you need to consider looking for advice or even professional help. To aid you in search for a person who can help you save your marriage, here is a list of important people you should look into…

CLICK HERE to Get Help in Saving Your Marriage

 Marriage Counselor

Practically every couple filing for a divorce will be required by the court to seek marriage counseling first. Then again, you don’t need a court order to get you to see a counselor. When should you get the services of a marriage counselor? Marriage counselors are trained psychologists who can help you in having a better perspective on the marital problems that you have at present and guide you into finding solutions them.

They commonly approach marital woes on a mental, emotional and behavioral basis. Most cases of marital differences result from contradictions in the habits and behaviors of each spouse. It is the job of the counselor to point out to the couple which specific behaviors are harmful to the marriage and provide valuable advice on how to change such behaviors or, if it has become too deeply ingrained, to find a compromise.

 Religious Counselor

Some people may say that religious counselors are the same as marriage counselors but this is not entirely true. While religious counselors have received the training to give advice and guidance to troubled couples, their approach to finding solutions to marital woes is based on their faith.

Religious counselors are excellent advisors especially if one or both spouses are concerned about the impact their marital problems would have on their faith. Most would like to find solutions based on their religion’s teachings. If you are concerned about your marriage problems and how it affects your own faith, it is better to seek guidance from a religious counselor than a marriage counselor.

 Urologist and Gynecologist

There are a large percentage of marriage couples whose marital problems may result from physical ailments that may prevent them from enjoying sexual relations and/or prevent them from having children. If you or your spouse suspects that you may have a medical condition, it is necessary that you seek consultation from a urologist (for the men) or a gynecologist (for the women).

They will conduct physical exams and laboratory tests to determine if you have a medical disorder and give you the appropriate treatment. For example, in women with a tilted uterus, a gynecologist can advise the couple on how best to have sex, so that the wife will not suffer any pain during intercourse.

 Fertility Experts

During the course of examinations, urologists and gynecologists may discover that one or both spouses have medical conditions that prevent them from having children (which is a common cause for divorce). Cases of low sperm count, poor sperm motility, or abnormalities in the reproductive tract (just to name a few) already prompts a referral to a fertility expert. Through the many advanced techniques that are available, these specialists will help you in conceiving that baby you and your spouse desire.

 Sex Therapists

In the absence of a medical condition in the husband or wife, a urologist and gynecologist may suspect that a psychological disorder may be the cause of sexual problems in the couple. In these cases, a referral to a sex therapist is given. A sex therapist is a psychiatrist who specializes in psychological problems of a sexual nature. For example, sex therapists have been a tremendous help in treating men suffering from premature ejaculation or women who have been traumatized by sexual abuse.

Learn more about the talented and skilled people who can help you save your marriage today!

After a bitter squabble, many couples would choose separation as a means to keep some form of distance between them. Separation is not really the same as divorce, since the couples just need some time to get over what ill feelings they harbor toward each other, resulting from circumstances such as physical, emotional and/or psychological abuse, substance abuse, and infidelity. Sadly, it is true that some of these couples will ultimately choose to stay apart by getting a divorce.

If you and your husband or wife are currently separated, you are probably wondering if there is still a chance for reconciliation between the two of you. The answer, of course, is a resounding YES! Even studies done by psychologists have found that reconciliation between separated couples can be possible if both are willing to take the necessary steps to get back together again. But what steps are these?

•  First of all, evaluate your current emotional state. Can you honestly tell yourself that you still love your spouse? Are you ready to forgive him or her and give him/her another chance? You also need to take a look at other reasons why you should reconcile. For one, you should consider the future of your children, although it should be mentioned that most kids would want to see their parents apart if they would continue to fight if they get together again. While it may seem materialistic, you should think about your financial security. Are you more secure while married or can you live on your own? These are just a few of the questions that you need to ponder when considering reconciliation.

•  Secondly, try establishing communication links with your spouse again. Talk about your feelings. Be honest, but without being rude or blowing your temper. If you are both decided on reconciling, discuss what needs to be changed between the two of you. Make a commitment to change bad habits and behaviors that have been detrimental to your relationship while still living together. Obviously, such changes cannot be made immediately. Arrive at reasonable compromises. Commit to be more patient and considerate toward each other’s faults. If there is some awkwardness between you regarding a possible confrontation, you can ask a relative or a friend to mediate between the two of you.

•  Thirdly, in some cases, reconciliation may prove difficult if neither spouse is willing to change. Consider getting marriage counseling. A marriage counselor can help guide and advise you on how to smoothen the rough spots in your marriage. Most importantly, he or she will help you to be able to forgive each other.

Just remember that sincere reconciliation has its many benefits. Couples who have reconciled after separation have discovered a deeper meaning in their relationship. They have also learned how to treat each other fairly and realize that they themselves are responsible for the success or ruin of their marriage.

Learn more about how you can save a marriage through reconciliation today!

If there is anything that all couples dread to happen in their marriage is that a spouse would have an extramarital affair. Indeed, people are unanimous in their views that an affair is an utter betrayal of the marriage vows. In fact, many husbands and wives would immediately file for divorce if they discover their spouses to have cheated on them.

However, if you want to save your marriage, you should be aware of another type of “cheating”. Here, your spouse does not have any sexual relations with somebody else. But, they harbor a strong emotional attachment to another person, which if allowed to continue, can lead to a full-blown extramarital affair. We are talking about emotional affairs.

Emotional affairs refer to a very strong emotional bond that develops between a husband or wife toward another individual. It can be the neighbor next door or an office mate. Although they don’t have sexual relations, their emotional ties can be so strong that it can even exceed the feelings between spouses. Take note that emotional affairs can not only develop between opposite sexes. Some spouses can also develop attachments toward individuals of the same suspect.

How would you suspect if your spouse is having an emotional affair? One major sign is that your spouse seems to enjoying being with one person more compared to others in your circle of friends. They would incessantly talk about this person as though he or she is the best in the world, even exceeding their own spouses and children.

They also become very excited when they are going to spend some time with this individual and would make excuses not to go out with their husbands or wives. Some will even go so far as to give the other person gifts. With time, these individuals will begin to grow distant from their spouses.

They will become critical of their spouse’s behaviors and habits and even go so far as to compare them to the person there are emotionally attached to. This can ultimately lead to fights between the couple, which may drive the erring spouse into having a sexual relationship with the other person.

If you suspect your spouse of having an emotional affair, don’t just outright forbid him or her from seeing the other person. Instead, consider listening to what he or she has to say about the second party. This person may have certain qualities which you yourself might consider developing so that your spouse will become more attractive to you.

You can also talk to the other person. Sometimes, your spouse may confide his or her disgruntlements about your marital relationship to the other party. Make the effort to change so that you will be able to save your marriage.

Learn more about emotional affairs and the steps you need to take in saving your marriage today!

Getting a divorce is not a decision that you should make on the spur of the moment. Sure, you and your spouse may have exchanged harsh words that have cut into the heart deeply. But are these fights worth sacrificing your marriage for? Can’t the two of you try to reconcile and save your marriage?

One way by which you can try to save your marriage is by going for counseling. However, there are some couples who are reluctant to air their “dirty linen” to an outside party. If you and your spouse are one such couple, you can prepare yourselves for the counseling sessions to come by doing your own evaluation of the state of your marriage, using the same questions that will be asked during counseling. These questions will encompass vital aspects of a marital relationship which are frequently plagued by problems.

Let us lit down the key aspects of married life and the questions that you and your husband or wife will need to meditate upon…

Questions on Your Relationship

• Are you a strong believer in divorce? What are your specific views about it? What marital issues would warrant divorce?
• Are you and your spouse frequently fighting? What specific issues do you two fight about?
• Even with the fights, do you still love your spouse and equally accord each other respect?
• Can you honestly say that you love your spouse that you would want to salvage your marriage?

Questions on Money

• Is one or both of you working? Are you earning enough for your family’s needs? Do you have problems managing the budget?
• Is one or both of you in serious debt?
• Do you have differing views on money management? Are you concerned that your spouse is spending too much? Does it irritate you that your spouse is a spendthrift?
• Are there any existing issues between you that are specifically due to money?
• Do you and your spouse discuss financial matters and work together to solve any problems?
• Do you believe that money problems are a good reason to get a divorce?

Questions on Sex and Intimate Relations

• Can you honestly say that you are sexually satisfied in your marriage?
• If not, what are the sexual problems between you?
• Are these sexual problems related to a medical condition? Are you undergoing treatment for this condition?
• Do these sexual problems interfere with your desire to have children?
• Is infertility or impotence a valid reason for you to divorce your spouse?
• Do you feel comfortable talking to your spouse about the sexual/intimate aspects of your relationship?
• Do you believe that your spouse is faithful to you? Is divorce an option if you discover your spouse is cheating on you?

Use these sample questions to evaluate the state of your marriage prior to counseling. An honest assessment can help you to identify weak spots in your relationship, address them, seek solutions, and thus save your marriage.