When it comes to saving a relationship or marriage, there are a lot of beliefs and advices which have been passed on from generation to generation as being tried and tested and believed to be true.
However, recent studies on love, marriage and divorce have shown that these advice which we once thought of as true is actually damaging to a relationship.
Here are some of these relationship notions that have been debunked by psychologists and relationship experts…
The key to a successful relationship is learning about each other and, ultimately, accepting your spouse for who he/she is and working through each other’s faults.
MYTH: “Saving a relationship/marriage requires the concerted effort between both spouses.”
TRUTH: Surprisingly, this advice is no longer true. More often than not, one spouse’s honest efforts to reconcile can help save a marriage.
This is especially true if the spouse in question is the one who is aware of his/her faults and makes an active effort to change in order to make their partner happy. In some cases, it is the other partner’s determination to save a relationship which convinces the more stubborn spouse to work with them.
MYTH: “Share your problems with a friend or loved one.”
TRUTH: Absolutely not true. Your marriage – and whatever marital troubles you have – are PRIVATE and should stay private. Many a marriage has been ruined because of gossipy relations to whom they have confided in.
Nothing can be more hurtful to a spouse than to hear what their partner thinks about them from someone else. Even worse are those friends who decide to take sides and actually meddle in affairs which are best resolved by the couple.
MYTH: “Take a breather from each other and go to your parents’/friends’ home for a few days.”
TRUTH: If you and your spouse had a quarrel, you don’t need to pack up and leave, much more stay with people who might have a bad influence on your mindset.
It is sufficient to stay in a separate room or sleep in the couch in order to cool off. If you really can’t stand the presence of your spouse at that moment, go to a motel for an overnight stay.
What is really the most important is that you burn off all your anger. Once you’re calm, you can determine the best thing to do to resolve your differences.
MYTH: “Go for marriage counseling.”
TRUTH: This is not necessarily true. The problem with most marriage counseling it’s that the sessions involve a lot of talk but very little by way of guidance from the counselor.
Unfortunately, many of these counselors follow the old view that the couple needs to unload their grievances and come up with solutions to their problems or, at the very least, compromise.
A good marriage counselor is one who doesn’t just listen. While he/she encourages the couple to talk, they also provide their own personal insights about the relationship and offer advice on how they can resolve their problems.
These are just some of the myth that was believed to be the truth but we may need to take a closer study.
And finally, You can also get our free report “15 Biggest Mistakes People Make When Trying to Save Their Relationship” by clicking here! (You will also be added to our relationship tips newsletter).