There is no such thing as a “perfect” marriage. All couples will at some point in their married lives experience problems. In most cases, these problems are usually resolved. But there are instances wherein the marriage will reach the breaking point.
As much as there is a huge clamor worldwide for troubled couples to look for ways to save their marriages, there are certain circumstances wherein saving a marriage is no longer a feasible option.
Here are the important signs that you should watch out for that would tell you if a marriage is no longer salvageable…
- Keeping up the pretense of having a “good” marriage. If you and your spouse no longer have any feelings for each other and are just going through the motions just for the sake of your children, this is not a good sign that your marriage can be saved.Also, don’t delude yourself into thinking that you are doing this for your kids. Majority of kids are very perceptive of problems in their parents’ relationships.
- Trust in each other has disappeared. – If you and/or your spouse have had numerous affairs outside of marriage, trust is sure to disappear. While troubled marriages resulting from infidelity are advised to be salvaged through counseling, repeated instances will necessitate no longer saving the marriage.Another reason why a marriage could not be saved is if one of the spouses is a pathological liar. Again, because the spouse always lies and the other could no longer trust him/her, it may no longer be necessary to save the marriage.
- Absence of compatibility – Some couples during their years of dating believe that they are compatible, only to discover when they are finally married that they have absolutely nothing in common at all. This is especially true if their goals and interests are completely different from each other.A good example is the desire to have children. One couple may want to have kids but the other doesn’t, even going to the point of taking measures to prevent unwanted pregnancies. In these cases, saving the marriage is not considered as an option.
- Differences in values – There are couples who experience marriage difficulties because of the differences in their values. For example, a woman who wants expensive material things may make life miserable for a husband who doesn’t value these things and/or earns only a meager income.
- Constant interference from in-laws – It can be very annoying to a spouse if his/her in-laws constantly interfere in their married and family life. These in-laws often drive wedges in marriages and may cause conflicts between the beleaguered spouse and his/her children.In the case of meddling in-laws, couples choose not to save their marriage, although a legal battle can result over custody of the children.
- Absence of sexual activity – Most sex experts agree that the lack or total absence of sexual activity is a very clear sign that the marriage is no longer salvageable.
- Substance abuse – A lot of couples separate if one spouse is abusing alcohol or drugs. Especially if they have failed at attempts for rehabilitation, separation is definitely necessary, if only to prevent the children from also developing these bad behaviors.
- Physical and/or psychological abuse – Many women who have been suffering from physical and/or psychological abuse are usually too afraid to divorce their husbands. It could be because they are afraid that their spouses would harm them or their children if they do.Others are afraid to leave their abusive spouses because they don’t have the means to live on their own and/or take care of their kids. However, constant abuse is the one sure sign that you should get out of the marriage pronto.