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In many countries in the world today, laws have been promulgated pertaining to divorce and annulments that would allow squabbling married couples to go their separate ways. While many men and women leap at this opportunity to be finally free of the partner whom they have ceased to love, there are still others who want to find ways on how to save a marriage that has been plagued by problems and strife.
From their experiences with troubled marital relationships, clinical psychologists, psychiatrists and human sexuality specialists have ascertained two factors that will affect the chances of a marriage being saved. The first factor is if both the husband and wife still like each other. When you say “like”, you should not mistake this for the deeper emotion of love. Couples who maintain a mutual liking and respect for each other have greater chances of saving their marriage. You have probably heard of couples who sought a divorce but claimed that they remained “close friends”. A few years later, they have remarried.
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The second factor is sex. Active sexual activity between the man and woman is a key factor in saving a marriage, regardless of whether the relationship is a mutually respectful or a miserable one. It may seem disturbing but research studies have shown that couples who have an active sexual relationship stay together longer, even if either the man or the woman is prone to abusive behavior.
If you are in a troubled relationship and you want to save your marriage, here are some valuable advice from psychiatrists and human sexuality experts.
First of all, it is part and parcel of marriage for couples to have the occasional fight. Conflict is a very normal aspect of a relationship, as long as it is resolved. If you have just had a heated argument with your spouse, give each other some space. Both of you will need to evaluate your respective roles in the squabble in private and come up with ways to resolve it. Avoid holding grudges. Once the two of you are calm and capable of thinking objectively, face the problem squarely together.
Secondly, learn to accept and understand each other’s shortcomings. No individual is perfect, and sometimes a man or a woman may have difficulty in changing their ways. Through acceptance, you can learn to adapt, so that conflicts can easily be resolved.
Thirdly, by the same token as the second advice, learn how to forgive. It is only through forgiveness that you can let go of the hurts that you have inflicted upon each other, so that the both of you can make a committed and concerted effort to save your marriage.
Fourth, if the hurt is too much for you to bear at the moment, spend some time apart. Either you or your spouse can stay temporarily at a house of a relative or a friend. The distance will give you the chance to cool your tempers and to objectively evaluate your situation.
Finally, if you feel that it is impossible for the both of you to face each other without quarreling all over again, seek the help of a marriage counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist who can mediate and guide you into discovering resolutions to your problems.
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